Prologue -- A word on bitches -- How a dog show works -- Show quality -- Pee break: Dog haters, ranked -- The fancy -- Pee break: Cartoon dogs, ranked -- Riding Betty White -- Pee break: Famous Westminster dog owners, ranked -- Conformation -- Pee break: Dogs in art, ranked -- The trouble with Frenchies -- Pee break: Dogs of myth and legend, ranked -- For your consideration -- Interlude: A stray -- They're all therapy dogs -- Pee break: Advertising dogs, ranked -- The heart-dog -- Pee break: Traveling dogs, ranked -- Somewhere in Michigan -- The magic trick -- Epilogue.
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